We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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