that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
