i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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