Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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