am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You ruined the universe
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
