whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
