It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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