just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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