So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
