I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
