Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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