Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
