oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
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the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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