If i come over, it means nothing
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
