Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
