He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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