Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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