This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
