I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
