sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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