You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize