Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
