I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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