Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
