I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
