If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize