new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
