Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
