i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You were trust falling into bushes
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
