I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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