Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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