found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
