Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
