Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
