You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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