ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
