you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
