You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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