please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
