my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
