I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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