I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize