If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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