it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
