Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
