I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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