Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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