When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
