Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
