They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
