he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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