We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
