I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
