Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
