She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize