Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
