5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
