i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
