I wannas sexs uuuuu
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
