Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
