You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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