I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize