If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
