Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
That accounts for only three of the penises
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
