So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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