i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You made out with two different species that night
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
