Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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