Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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