i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
